Dating a woman who had her life together.

There I was dating a woman who had her life together. She was intelligent, and she had her work, had her friends, and was close to her family. While I was living like a nomad or a bum with money, I guess? , gun for hire makes it sound sexier (it isn’t). No home of my own, no foundation built or owned or rented on the planet with my name attached to it. She settled into living everyday civilized life. Work during the week, weekends off, typical stuff. Nothing was typical about her.

When I would fly in, I would go to one of my favorite spots in Joshua tree. I tell her I am in town, and she would respond with, "I want to see you; what's the address?" It was such an extreme flip in the pursuit of things. I was so used to being the one pursuing women and courting them. I thought it was strange, a first for me. So we would meet there, have drinks take in the sunset, and she drank wine, I drank beer, we ate pizza from Pie for the People, it existed before Covid, it's gone now.

We would talk for hours about life, family, love, kids, soul, god, death, work, business, music. Sometimes we would argue passionately about who was wrong about what, and I would laugh about it cause the subject would be music, not codes to a nuclear missile. I loved that she knew what she liked and what she didn't like. She spoke to me rooted in her foundation of what she wanted in her life and how she wanted to live it. That shit was attractive. She was beautiful and fearless in speaking about her goals dreams, and she was very curious about mine. She asked me more about my plan if I would adjust if I fell in love or found a woman I wanted to marry, listening to me and keeping eye contact like a soviet officer grilling me for being an enemy of the state. It was fun and good, and conversations I never had with a woman at that level. Of course, we were different, but the foundational things like kids, love, family, work and our beliefs and goals were similar.

I am overseas, and she calls me. She tells me she wants kids, two of them. She says she wants them soon. She will put me to work on this mission when I am home again. She was joking, and now I was serious. I say, no, the timing is wrong. I want to finish with this work and follow through with my plan, and then we can. She digs in and says we shouldn't speak anymore then. She tells me she is not waiting for two years. I said okay. We said goodbye, and we never spoke again.

Not the ending you were expecting? This isn't a hallmark journal. But, the best breakup I ever had, no drama, no lies, we knew what the other wanted and needed without compromising ourselves. We moved on without the need to torture the other.