Deep Water

Is where you have moved past the point of no return; you can see the shore behind you. What's beneath you is just darkness, a bottomless unknown, chaos; you are alone. Look out across the surface of the water, white caps near and far. It begins; the battle is subtle. It speaks, "You have been swimming for so long, you are tired. You don't need to do this; turn back, don't be a fool. Look, you can still see the shore behind you. It is safe there, dry, warm." You ignore it. It speaks too softly to be a threat to me, you think. The seed is planted doubt.

The shadow comes. Did you feel something swim past, or do you think you felt something? It begins again, "You did feel something, it was fear, and you don't know what monsters are beneath you or surrounding you, you are not prepared to follow through with this mission. (the seed is germinating), Turn back, and there is no shame in it. Look how far you have gotten, all on your own. It is admirable, really, and everyone will be impressed."

This dialog bothered you; it had your attention. You shake it off. You stay the course, and you are more than one-third away from your goal. F*&% you see the new shore, new lands, your vision being a real tangible thing. Hope rises, a smirk across your face; you're going to make it. You are not even a body in water. You are hope treading through a sea of every kind of bullshit; a man will be lured into with the most beautiful and worthless things asking for his time and attention.

The water gets choppy, and your mind comes flooding back into your body. You feel it, the strain, the fatigue, weariness. Your vision seems to be leagues away again. Can you even see it? Did this s#$% get further? What the hell is going on? You should be closer, and you didn't stop; you didn't take a break. You didn't gain any ground. You tread water, trying to gather your bearings; stay calm. It speaks, "You can't see the shore you left, and you cant see the coast in front of you. Turn yourself around, face the direction you came from, you see that? It is a light, yes move toward that light, yes, it is not the direction you desire to go, but you know it, and you know it well. Turning back to the unknown path, you see a mist is rising, nothing to see.

Now how do you move? Which way do you go? Swim back to what you know, push forward into the mist, into the unknown. Every man must decide for himself what he must do at the tipping point of achieving his purpose.

I restarted again and again in pursuit of my mission. I have chosen poorly, and my path would look like a switchback trail. A little more robust than before, there will come a moment where going back will be a choice I can no longer make. This moment is near; our faith, our hope belief, will constantly be tested. If it wasn't, would triumph taste as sweet?